120 Pound Brain
Song & Lyrics submitted by
Song of the Week:
©1999 shockorama music pub. /
music & lyrics by Bob Schneider
The scientists weighed it
They couldn’t believe it
That a normal human being
Could’ve ever conceived it
It looked quite normal
All lumpy and round
But it weighed an incredible
125 pounds
Was there bricks inside it
(nobody could say)
Was there gold in the middle
(or a little Chevrolet)
Nobody had an answer
Nobody could explain
The secret of the one hundred and
Twenty-five pound brain
Well the people went crazy
(the people went loco)
When they heard the big story
(the people went loco)
They all wanted to see it
Cause it sounded quite gory
The president shouted
When he was contacted
We must find out about it
I think it must be extracted
Was there secrets inside it?
Nobody could say
Maybe the answers to the questions
That just won’t go away
Nobody had an answer
Nobody could explain
The secret of the one hundred and
Twenty-five pound brain
Now there must’ve been a whole lotta information
Inside that big old beast
There mus’ve been more telephone numbers inside it
Than a normal person could remember at least
It must’ve known where all the keys had been lost at
And maybe even those missing socks
It must’ve been somewhat out of the ordinary
Maybe even a little unorthodox
So they probed and they prodded
(they pricked and they pried)
With there space age machines
(they spooned and they spied)
And they mumbled and they nodded
And they scratched their beans
Cause it was the same color
(same size and shape)
As a regular brain
(slightly bigger than an ape)
It was the buck and a quarter
(of pounds)
That they couldn’t explain
Was there a little secret city?
Somewhere deep in the core
Or a mighty metal monster
Behind a big oak door
Nobody had an answer
Nobody could explain
The secret of the one hundred and
25 pound brain
back to top
2002
Song & Lyrics submitted by
Song of the Week:
©1997 shockorama music pub. / music & lyrics by Bob Schneider
The year 2002
I'm doing exactly what I wanted to do
And baby I don't even think about you anymore
Just thought I’d drop you a line
To let you know I was feeling fine
Cause honey it's been a long long time
Since you walked out my door
It took me some time I must confess
For a while there I was feeling less than my best
I had to get out of town so I headed out west
Ended up in Seattle
I thought I’d start a brand new band
I thought I might call it Lonelyland
Things got a little out of hand
Ended up hooked on heroin
So I ended up moving back over to Germany
Living with the folks bagging groceries
But the time I had was mostly free
So I spent most of it drinking
I got myself in a jam or two
I guess it's what I had to do
Late at night I’d still think of you
And it felt like I was drowning
Till I met this girl at a discotheque
She was a dancer but not what you'd expect
She taught ballet and she was half-Czech half Chinese
But after she decided not to have the baby
She said she was gonna move back to Czechoslovakia maybe
By then I didn't really care I was either half drunk or half crazy
I got arrested once but never convicted
My parents eventually had me evicted
I tried your number but it'd been disconnected
I guess I should’ve known
I heard you got married and you moved away
I called your folks but where they wouldn't say
They said it's probably better that way so I just let it be
I moved back to Austin bout a year ago
I drive a schoolbus
I don't drink no more
I go out every once in a while to see a show
But mostly I just watch TV
So I don't know where I’m gonna send this letter
I doubt things are ever going to get much better
It seems like life is just one big whatever anyway
I just thought I’d drop you a line
Lie and say I was doing fine
Cause baby it's been a long long time
Since you walked out my door
back to top
A Better Place
Song & Lyrics submitted by
Song of the Week:
©1992 shockorama music pub. / music & lyrics by Bob Schneider
I've got me a world
That I created
I've heard the theories and the facts
As they where stated
It seems so empty
When you almost have it all
There's something missing
As I recall
There's got to be a better place
A better place than this
There's got to be a better place
And yet I still resist
My mind is small
I've known it all
Of this much I am sure
And bullshit man can't understand
How much I can endure
But facts are facts
And this world is wide
There's things I still can learn
If I open up my mind
Leave doubt behind
And leave no stone unturned
There's got to be a better place
A better place than this
There's got to be a reason
A reason that I've missed
Some people say that faith will get you by
I know it doesn't cause I've given it a try
I've found answers but every answer is a lie
And only in my darkest dreams does the truth open up my eyes
back to top
A Fine Collection of Money
Song & Lyrics submitted by
Song of the Week:
©Lyrics by Bob Schneider/music by Charles Rieser, Adam Temple, and Bob Schneider
That's a fine collection of nothing
Said the whisper to the wind
And the wind spent the night in nowhere
And blew away again
And that's a fine furry feeling
Flying floating forwards towards freedom
That's a fine collection of nothing
Said the whisper to the breeze
And they languished in the moonlight
And sang their song among the trees
And that's a fine furry feeling
Flying floating forwards towards freedom
That's a fine collection of nothing
Said the whisper to the night
And the world spun through the universe
And sailed away out of sight
And that's a fine furry feeling
Flying floating forwards towards freedom
back to top
A Fine Scabs Chrismas
Song & Lyrics submitted by
Song of the Week:
©Lyrics and music by Bob Schneider
It was Thursday night in Jerusalem
And it was cloudy and mean
Ole Jesus went out on the town
To get himself some of that turpentine
He went into a bar and said,
"Can I get a shot of that mead"
The bartender not recognizing ole Jesus said,
"There's something that you'll need"
Well now ole Jesus got carded on Christmas
It was such a sight
And Santa's got a boner and he's fucking my daughter
Ooohhh on Christmas night
It's a fine Scabs Christmas
Here in purgatory
All the angels have on fake dicks
It's just that same ole story
We're going to hell
We're gonna spend Christmas in hell
All I want for Christmas is for you to stick your finger in my nuts
All I want for Christmas is for you to stick your tongue all over my nuts
And then I might stick my little christmasy finger in your butt
There was a little boy born in a manger
And they called him Jesus Christ
His mother was a virgin but somehow she still had lice
"Now how'd you get those crabs, mother Mary?"
Ole Joseph did inquire
Then Jesus popped out and he said, "I'm your sire
I am the Son of God
I am the Son of God
I am hungry but I am the Son of God
And so they invented Melba toast
But Jesus got carded on Christmas
I've got a scab on my Christmas
back to top
A Little Love
Song & Lyrics submitted by
Song of the Week:
©1999 Lyrics by Bob Schneider
A nickel and a dime and a dime make a quarter
You add some h to some o and get some water
Momma and poppa make a son or a daughter
And if you add a little love
It'll make you feel like you oughta
Ooooooooh
Some ice cream and pie'll put a smile in your tummy
3 4's, 4 5's and a straight's a gin rummy
A dead old pharaoh in big gold box' just a mummy
And if you add a little love
It'll make the whole world funny
Ooooooooh
A frog and a princess ain't a princess and a prince
And a pomegranate's tasty but it ain't no quince
And a puzzle ain't a puzzle if there too many hints
And love ain't love if it makes you wince
Peanut butter and chocolate tastes better than soap
It's time to let go when you run out of rope
Chances are you'll never ever be the pope
But if you add a little love it'll fill up your heart with hope
Oooooooooh
back to top
A Million and One Reasons
Song & Lyrics submitted by
Song of the Week:
©1999 shockorama music pub. / music & lyrics by Bob Schneider
There was a little old wedding on the planet of the damned
The queen of Siam married the amazing Spiderman
I've got a four thousand dollar photograph to prove it's true
And a million and one reasons for the fucked up things I do
Now there's a million little brain cells dying everyday
Making me that much less accountable for the things I say
I got a stack of Scientific Americans to prove its true
I got a million and one reasons for the fucked up things I do
Now if you invited the whole world to your house tonight
You'd have a real hard time trying to find a place to hide
I got thirty plus years of experience to prove it's true
I got a million and one reasons for the fucked up things I do
There was an itty-bitty bug in an elephant's ear
Telling him everything that he wanted to hear
And elephants never forget a thing you say its true
I got a million and one reasons for the fucked up things I do
back to top
A Sweet Sound
Song & Lyrics submitted by
Song of the Week:
©1999 shockorama music pub. / music & lyrics by Bob Schneider
Go ahead and build your castle
Way up so high
That you have to cut yourself
A big hole in the sky
Make it all golden
And shiny and strong
Make it so it'll last forever
And won't ever do you wrong
And it'll make a sweet sound all around
It'll make a sweet sound when it all comes down
You know you'll never be the same
You know it's easy to lay the blame
At the altar of the temple
Of the excuses you've made
Until your smiles as thin as a razorblade
And if you want to know the reason
Why I don't mind
You'll have to come back some other time
All your explanations are made of sand
When you try to reach for the truth
It just slips through your hands
Tend to your garden growing there in the sun
Work your whole life away not having any fun
Cause all the plans you make'll just take you away
From the only time that you've been given today
Construct all your defenses the best way that you can
Until you've got steel skin like superman
Until the walls so high you can see right through
Until the walls so wide that love can't get to you
back to top
Acidonia
Song & Lyrics submitted by
Song of the Week:
©Lyrics by Bob Schneider, music by Adam Temple and Bob Schneider
When I woke up this morning
I didn't know where I was
And I figured it out too late too late too late
There was a screaming carcass
Never said a word
She just flashed her eyes and I was mesmerized
And the strongest man alive
Came up from hell
And he broke the spell
And I realized
I realized
I was in acidonia
I've never felt stonier
I was in acidonia
I've never felt lonelier
Pops and buzzes brandished my brain
I was mangled by the fickle capricious stains
And a faun came up the gangplank and called me by my name
While the Venus of Ohio begged me not to change
And the strangest man alive came down from heaven
And waved goodbye
And I realized
I realized
I was in acidonia
I've never felt stonier
I was in acidonia
I've never felt lonelier
I could feel the shackles at my feet
I felt legless and numb and my fingers felt like cum
And my breath bound by fetters and adorned with festoons
Lie dying in this lagoon
And the luckiest man alive
Gave his life as a gift
It was sweet and swift
I was in acidonia
I've never felt stonier
I was in acidonia
I've never felt lonelier
back to top
Alabama
Song & Lyrics submitted by
Song of the Week:
©1996 shockorama music pub.
I went to Alabama
I took my honey down
I went to Alabama
I burned it to the ground
All the little roses
And fine watersheds
All the little flowers
In their flowery beds
And the little baby
With another one inside
Got inside my constitution
And would not be denied
Baby you can love me
But throw away your heart
Cause the rain that's gonna fall there
Go'n wreck your applecart
I went to Alabama
And every honeybee
That swam around my petals
Tended to agree
And buried in the garden
In that candy dress
The fruit of all my labors
Lies waiting I confess
I went to Alabama
And took my honey down
And with my bloody fingers
I burned her to the ground
back to top
All Fucked Up
Song & Lyrics submitted by
Song of the Week:
©1994 shockorama music pub.
Well my baby done left me but I keep on truckin
Yeah my baby done left me but I keep on truckin
My baby done left me but I keep on truckin
My baby done left me but I keep on truckin
One of these days I'm gonna find good lovin
Cause I'm all fucked up but you did all the fuckin
Well there's a big ole pile of shit called love I got stuck in
There's a big ole pile of shit called love I got stuck in
Well there's a big ole pile of shit called love I got stuck in
There's a big ole pile of shit called love I got stuck in
One of these days I'm gonna find good lovin
Cause I'm all fucked up but you did all the fuckin
Well when that demon semen's steamin well you keep a chugaluggin
When that demon semen's steamin well you keep a chugaluggin
When that demon semen's steamin well you keep a chugaluggin when that demon
semen's steamin well you keep a chugaluggin
One of these days I'm gonna find good lovin
Cause I'm all fucked up but you did all the fuckin
All I really need is some good huggin lovin
All I really need is some good huggin lovin
All I really need is some good huggin lovin
All I really need is some good huggin lovin
My baby done left me but I keep on truckin
I'm all fucked up but you did all the fuckin
I'm all fucked up
I'm all fucked up
I'm all fucked up
I'm all fucked up
I'm all fucked up
But you did all the fuckin
back to top
All I Want For Christmas Is My Methodone
Song & Lyrics submitted by
Song of the Week:
©1996 shockorama music pub. / music & lyrics by Bob Schneider
All I want for Christmas is my methadone
All I want for Christmas is to be left alone
All I want for Christmas is a free ride home
All I want for Christmas is heart to turn to stone
All I want for Christmas is my methadone
All I want for Christmas is a brand new car
All I want for Christmas is to be your only star
All I want for Christmas is to find out exactly who I are
All I want for Christmas is a brand new car
All I want for Christmas is a brand new start
All I want for Christmas is to unbreak my heart
All I want for Christmas is to not completely fall apart
All I want for Christmas is a brand new start
All I want for Christmas is my baby back
All I want for Christmas is a money stack
All I want for Christmas is a great big Cadillac
All I want for Christmas is my baby back
All I want for Christmas is a pound of weed
All I want for Christmas is for you to fulfill my every need
All I want for Christmas is to get so high my nose will bleed
All I want for Christmas is a pound of weed
All I want for Christmas is a brand new life
All I want for Christmas is to fuck your lovely wife
All I want for Christmas is someplace safe to hide the knife
All I want for Christmas is a brand new life
All I want for Christmas is a second chance
All I want for Christmas is a dryer set of pants
All I want for Christmas is less incriminating evidence
All I want for Christmas is a second chance
All I want for Christmas is a Subaru
All I want for Christmas is a squeeze from you
All I want for Christmas is a single fucking clue
All I want for Christmas is a Subaru
All I want for Christmas is oblivion
All I want for Christmas is a brand new skin
All I want for Christmas is to get out of all the shit I'm in
All I want for Christmas is oblivion
back to top
Angelina
Song & Lyrics submitted by
Song of the Week:
©1995 shockorama music pub. / words & music by Bob Schneider
Eating sunlight streams riding on the back of dreams with Angelina
Drinking blue sky wine riding on a dandelion with Angelina
But there's a note on the door saying I'll see you never more love, Angelina
Making love to the breeze, playing hide and seek with trees and Angelina
Gonna drown in your direction gonna pass every inspection Angelina
But there's a note on the door that says I'll see you never more love, Angelina
I want to scuba in your tuba I wanna fly down to Aruba, Angelina
I want to scream into your lightpost and paint up all your bright toes, Angelina
But there's a note on the door that says I'll see you never more, love, Angelina
With your spells and cobble bells
Your magical legerdemain
Your butterflies and wishing wells
You come and sweep away all the rain
And when I'm down on the ground you know you'll always come around Angelina
When I'm singing in the sun when I'm coming all undone Angelina
There's a note on the door that says I'll see you never more, love, Angelina
back to top
Anglin’ Towards The Light
Song & Lyrics submitted by
Song of the Week:
©Music and Lyrics by Bob Schneider
No one's comin'
To the wake
Cuz everybody's gone
Butter chocolate
Fattycake
Anglin' towards the light
Tryin' to make it throught the night
Thirty wonder
while they burn
Spin the bottle
Let it pour
Better put your raincoat on
Don't worry anymore
Think it out
Cuz no one knows
I wonder if I'll
Change my tune
I'm anglin' towards the light
Tryin' to make it through the night
And everybody sez
I'm Dr. Doom
But everybody's gone....too soon
back to top
Angels Never Cry
Song & Lyrics submitted by
Song of the Week:
©1997 shockorama music pub. / music & lyrics by Bob Schneider
Angels never cry
They know the score
They're always high
And love
Never dies
It's pure and sweet
It's April skies
Angels never cry
They fly away
And line the sky
And love
Is everything
And nothing's real
The angels sing
back to top
Angels Saved Me
Song & Lyrics submitted by
Song of the Week:
©1997 shockorama music pub.
I guess there used to be a time when I knew
The things that did and didn't really matter
But that was an awfully long time ago
Things they couldn't go on without a change
I knew the pain couldn't last forever
There had to be a better way to go
But then angels saved me
And sheltered me from harm
And angels gave me
A way to find some strength and peace of mind
To find my way back home
I guess I thought I knew it all a little better
Than I really did & guess I still do
Things you take for granted sometimes have a way of
Turning round and coming right back after you
Things they couldn't go on without a change
I knew the pain couldn't last forever
There had to be a better way to go
But then angels saved me
And sheltered me from harm
And angels gave me
A way to find some strength and peace of mind
To find my way back home
back to top
Assknockin'
Songs & Lyrics submitted by: Niecy
Song Of The Week: 1/11/02
©music & lyrics by Bobby Schneider
(chorus 2x)
All I wanna do is rock this motherfucker all night long ya'll
Non stop until the crack of dawn ya'll
Ass-Knockin till you can't go on ya'll
Stop over with the goodies and get it on
Rock the house party like Freddie King
Dropping the big bomb like it was no big thing
Fuckin up the system like a psychopath
Bringing the knowledge like Sylvia Plath
Bringing all the juice like I was Aquaman
Fling the funky fat far across the land
Do the def nugget like I was born to do
Holding it down like I was superglue
(repeat chorus)
Breakin all the rules like it's no big deal
Eatin hot sauce til it makes me sick
Hangin out with the fly girls at the laundromat
Why their dickhead boyfriends wonder where they at
I gotta drink a big jar of that jammy juice
Doing all the things I was supposed to do
Sleepwalking honey through the land of love
While a hundred billion stars burn high above
(repeat chorus)
You gots to get on down like a kangaroo
Maxing and relaxing in the booty groove
I gotta sling the groovy gravy everywhere I go
So we can flip the freaky deak and cold freak the flow
Teach the whole world to sing my song
So we can all get together and all get along
(repeat chorus)
Vive la fiesta in the old school way
Bust out some old Scorps or some Kid N Play
Creamy dreamsicle aphrodisiac
Park my big booty where the beats is at
I gotta take it up a notch to the 5th degree
Like I was taught to do by the master gee
People coming up and they askin me
How'd a boy from Ypsilanti like you ever get to be
Such a bad motherfucker on the M I C
I said show me, shit it comes naturally cause
(repeat chorus)
back to top
Astrogirl
Song & Lyrics submitted by
Song of the Week:
©Lyrics by Bob Schneider
She wears a black avenger jumpsuit
Some cute coconut cut pump boots
She's dangling brothers from her fingers
She's astro girl
She can jump over the world
She can break your mind in two
She'll give you the finger
That's what she'll do
She's astrogirl
Space cadet queen
Astrogirl
She's warm milk and afrosheen
Astrogirl
Space cadet queen
She's a hot tomato
She'll eat your potato
She ain't no Plato
But she's sure fun on a date though
She's astrogirl
Space cadet queen
Astrogirl
She's warm milk and afrosheen
Astrogirl
Space cadet queen
She's stronger than your mom
Just take her to the prom
She's got a butt like a bomb
Boom!
She's quick on her back
She's sharp as a shop vac
She's a tasty little snack jack
She'll put you on the road mack daddy
She ain't no fatty
She's sweeter than a caddy
And her hair's never ratty
She's astrogirl
Space cadet queen
Astrogirl
She's warm milk and afrosheen
Astrogirl
Space cadet queen
back to top
Astronaut
Song & Lyrics submitted by
Song of the Week:
©1999 shockorama music pub. / music & lyrics by Bob Scneider
I am an astronaut falling through the night
I am an astronaut lost beyond your sight
I am an astronaut letting go and holding tight
I am an astronaut just don't ask me why
You are the sun and I'm falling towards you
You are the sun and you're coming into view
You are the sun and every word I say is true
You are the sun and you melt me yes you do
I am an astronaut lost without a ship
I am an astronaut and I can't escape your grip
I am an astronaut and I can feel it start to slip
I am an astronaut and I am falling as I trip
You are the sun and I know you are the one
You are the sun and this story's just begun
You are the sun and you cannot be outrun
You are the sun and I'm having so much fun
I am an astronaut and it's out of my control
I am an astronaut and you play the starring role
I am an astronaut and your swallowing me whole
I am an astronaut and I'm only rock-n-roll
And you are the sun and much too strong to fight
You are the sun and everything's alright
You are the sun and you've wet my appetite
You are the sun and I'm blinded by the light
back to top
Z">
Aurora Abby Anderson
Song & Lyrics submitted by
Song of the Week:
©Lyrics by Bob Schneider
Aurora Abby Anderson
Is slipping through the cracks again
Her hopes and dreams they came and went
She didn't even make a dent
The succulence they represent
Is fine and fresh and evident
So prosecute the president
Condone the lost experiment
Confine the sweet tragedienne
Aurora Abby Anderson
She's wading in the drowning pool
Surrounded by the miniscule
She'll slip the crown on April's fool
And skins the snake in Sunday school
Cantankerous and supercool
Her guttbucket is fool of drool
Set fire to all of Istanbul
Let all the twisted wreckage rule
Aurora Abby Anderson
Is winding round her mind again
She['s lost the battle won the war
She stuck inside forevermore
Where everyone is such a bore
Her ginger gown kisses the floor
And fans the flames with lion roars
The tortured queen of mind made wars
The duchess of mad metaphors
back to top
C'Mon Baby
Song & Lyrics submitted by Brian Rose
Song of the Week: 6/9/02
©Shockorama music pub. / music & lyrics by Bob Schneider
I don't need no good advice
cause everyday's just a roll of the dice
sometimes it rains, sometimes it suns
it's gonna work all day til the work is done
Ain't a problem that you can't shake
ain't no worries 'cept the ones you make
so baby take it easy cause everything's fine
go hang your head in the
chorus
big sunshine
hang your head in the big sunshine
hang your head in the big sunshine
big fat grin on the moon tonight baby
and the stars, they were dancing to the candle light
protected by the tiger and the seventh sun
I'm gonna go out tonight until the night is done
Take a swim where the big fish lie
baby you can take it easy if you give it a try
ain't no worries and everythings fine
go hang your head in the
(chorus)
Big black spider will look over our entrees
sounds of the ocean, baby and me
finger of God in an electric sky
fifty foot tidal wave, my oh my!
Sittin' on top of the world all day
I wanna kiss every single little care away
smoke a little sticky and everything's fine
go hang your head in the
(chorus)
hang your head in the big sunshine
hang your head in the big sunshine
back to top
Bridge Builders
Songs & Lyrics submitted by: Kelly Anne
Song Of The Week: 7/9/02
You asked me a question
I think I’m somewhere else
You said “You’re not listenin’”
You said that I never do
I try, I try so hard
So hard in this big world.
It’s big and so shiny
All around it’s like a big cartoon
You ask me to help you build a bridge
So that we could meet in between
But I’m building my own bridge
Somewhere, so far from here
I’m building my own bridge
I’ll call you when I get there
You said you were leaving
I heard it sweet and clear
You said “It’s not easy
With you, you’re never here”
I’m lost, I don’t know why you seem so far away
I see you, working so hard, working so hard each day
Building your own bridge to somewhere far away
I’m building my own bridge
Don’t worry, I won’t stand in your way
Cuz I’m building my own bridge
My own bridge, I can call my own
I’m building my own bridge, I’ll call you when I get there
back to top
C'Mon Baby
Song & Lyrics submitted by Kelly Anne
Song of the Week: 3/1/02
©1999 shockorama music pub. / music & lyrics by Bob Schneider
They say love finds its own way home
But on the way it could rip your heart out and break your bones
It could turn your skin to stone
And leave you screaming for a reason while your dreaming all alone
And what about the man who fell
Fell from the blue black sky one night into the deepest darkest well
A well that never ends until you are in hell
With no way out and no one left to cancel out the spell
And falling’s all we ever do
Fall through the sky upon this earth around the sun our whole live’s through
And no one wonder’s why we always think it’s true
That everything we do is so important oh I have no clue
And love will find its own way home
Around the snakes inside your mind under the bones
And though the world might fold you in its pocket you won’t ever bend
You’re not the type my only love the only one I call my friend
And what about the girl who ran
So far away that she could never find her home again
She slipped and fell and broke her heart
And now the only thing she ever does is fall apart
And what about that starry sky
I know I’ve used that analogy a thousand times
But it has some strange effect on me
I fall into the sky as if I were falling into a deep blue sea
I want to stop the world and hide
But there’s no where to run and no place left inside
Just want to stop and catch my breath
Just want to spend a fucking second on this planet not scared to death
That’s what I say but is it true
The truth is everything is perfect and it’s not for me and you
To figure out anything at all we’ve got is time
And not much baby so just fuck the brakes and get your ass in line
I wanna make you see the light
I wanna shine as bright as Brooklyn on a Saturday’s night
I wanna scream until I drown
I wanna get so high I’ll never come back down
I know you’ll never understand
You think you know me well you think you know me well but think again
Yeah I’m insane and I’m on fire and I’m all right
Don’t get too close to me or you’ll be blinded by this holy light
back to top
Conan
Songs & Lyrics submitted by: Kelly Anne
Song Of The Week: 10/22/01
conan liked kisses
he liked warm embraces
the little children
and bright shiny faces
conan liked the clear sky with the moon up above
but mostly ol conan just wanted to be loved
you see ol conan was a barbarian
and barbarians only find love in their dreams
conan killed women
conan killed men
conan killed a demon every now and again
conan killed anything when push came to shove
but mostly ol conan wanted to be loved
you see ol conan was a barbarian
and barbarians only find love in their dreams
you see ol conan was a barbarian
and barbarians only find love in their dreams
only find love in their dreams
one day ol conan decided enough was enough
he got tired of maimin and killin and fuckin up stuff
was not the adventure he had tired of
mostly ol conan just wanted to be loved
you see ol conan was a barbarian
and barbarians like me only find love in their dreams
you see ol conan was a barbarian
and barbarians like me only find love in their dreams
only find love in their dreams
only find love in their dreams
only find love in their dreams
only find love in their dreams
back to top
Dolphins
Song of the Week: 07/02/03
©2003 shockorama music pub. The dolphins have come ashore
And the world will be the same no more
With their robotic armor
And millions of dollars
Nothing can stop them tonight
Cannonballs will have no noticeable effect
Nor bribes nor promises of frienship
The best to say goodbye to your children
And hurry off to the next town
Dolphins with their teeth of spongy gold
And their stares made of spongy grins
They don't know the language of mercy
Your lifeboat will be useless
Your knowledge wasted
So pour another cup of wine
And wave goodbye to your future
The dolphins
Good by old new york goodbye kansas city
Goodbye mild winters of kentucky
Hello dolphin hello
Hello
back to top
Dope Wings
Song of the Week: 01/21/04
Oh Yeah
Oh Yeah
Oh Yeah
I got these dope wings and I can fly (Oh Yeah)
Up through heaven and the clear blue sky (Oh Yeah)
Down to the bottom, but I don't mind(Oh Yeah)
I can leave all my troubles behind
What I mean it don't mean a thing (Oh Yeah)
Everybody's got to do their thing (Oh Yeah)
Open up your mind and come fly with me (Oh Yeah)
Undo the shackles and let yourself be free
Undertaker gonna let me be(Oh Yeah)
Why you wanna come mess with me? (Oh Yeah)
Keep your sticky fingers off my bone (Oh Yeah)
C'mon, leave this poor boy alone (Oh Yeah)
Oh Yeah
Oh Yeah
Politicians with your pretty lies (oh yeah)
Regrets can't buy back the sky (Oh Yeah)
Big money when you gonna see (Oh Yeah)
You're messing up the world with your greed, baby (Oh Yeah)
One day you gonna see the light (Oh Yeah)
Only too late to make things right (Oh Yeah)
Undo the shackles and let yourself be free (Oh Yeah)
Do the right thing, come fly with me
I got my dope wings and I can see
How the world can live together in harmony
No need to worry, no need to fight
Open up your heart and come see the light
Oh Yeah (Looking for an answer that you'll never find)
Oh Yeah (Relax…Leave all your troubles behind)
(Ah yeah, Ah yeah)
Oh Yeah….Relax (Ah Yeah, Ah Yeah)…Oh Yeah
I got these dope wings and I can fly
Up through heaven and the clear blue sky
Down to the bottom, but I don't mind
I can leave all my troubles behind
I got my dope wings and I can see (Oh Yeah)
How the world can live together in harmony (Oh Yeah)
No need to worry, no need to fight(Oh Yeah)
Open up your heart and come see the light (Ah yeah, Ah Yeah)
Oh Yeah…Relax
Ah Yeah, Ah Yeah (Looking for an answer that you'll never find)
Ah Yeah, Ah Yeah…Relax
Ah Yeah, Ah Yeah……Ohhhh Yeeeeaaah
Open up your heart and come see the light
Oh Yeah
Oh Yeah
Oh Yeah
Oh Yeah
Oh Yeah
back to top
Electromagneticlovethingexperience
Song & Lyrics submitted by Adrian Rice
Song of the Week: 11/27/01
©1993 shockorama music pub.
Slippin in your silky skin can we do it once again
what's your fantasy
Your soft embrace your aftertaste we ain't got no time to waste tell me
what you need
Cause you can tie me up or tie me down on your bed or on the ground
When we come up for air don't be scared I’ll run my fingers through your
hair
This electric magnetic love thing experience
Aaah aaah aaah
Might drop you to your knees
It won't do what you please
Baby when you hold me tight I just might make it through this night
Well I can't be your father child but try and I might drive you wild
I've been trapped inside your cherry tree
Ever since you put your spell on me
This electric magnetic love thing experience
Aaah aaah aaah
Might drop you to your knees
It won't do what you please
Pull my trigger scratch my back cause when you do it just like that it makes
me wanna scream
I shiver when you shake my rattle I love it when I’m in your saddle it feels
like a dream
This electric magnetic love thing experience
It's a love thing experience
It's a love thing experience
It's a love thing experience
Aaah aaah aaah
Might drop you to your knees
It won't do what you please
back to top
Get It On (aka "Mmm Mmm Song")
Song & Lyrics submitted by Kelly Anne Conroy
Song of the Week: 10/3/02
©2000 shockorama music pub. / music & lyrics by Bob Schneider
Orangatang zoo
I’m a big gorilla in a monkey suit
I’m smacking my shit all over the place
I got 200 million dollar stereo bass
I went deep sea fishing with the president
I spooked the CIA with my massive rims
I’m faster than a supersonic aeroplane
Don’t got no tan, I use solarcaine
Bought a big burrito at the tacoria
The dog food gives me the diarrhea
Opened up a clothes store down on the drag
My mom smokes crack out of a paper bag
I said I bought a Toyota cuz I just don’t care
I won big on “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire”
I’m fresh as hot chocolate on higher ground
Yes, I’m a comb at the lost and found
Tell me Do you wanna
I know you wanna
Do you wanna
I know you wanna
Tell me do you wanna
I know you wanna
Tell me are you gonna
Get it on?
Got the hot and crunchy peanut butter Kisses
Hit the mark and I never miss it
Hung out with Jay Leno like it was no big deal
I shop at HEB; I don’t eat no eel
Grass is greener on the LSD I said I love the titties cuz they love me
Fuck Nova Scotia like a kangaroo
I got long back hair, but so can you
I make a mean cream of mushroom macaroni surprise
Don’t ask no questions, don’t tell no lies
And when I’m on the mic, all the ladies agree
That I’m a bad motherfucker on the mic, baby
Smoke like that, I got much clout
Yet you were hiding there before, now the fire’s out
Do your duty booty cuz you’re duty bound
I weighed my dick last night, it weighed a pound
Do you wanna
I know you wanna
Tell me do you wanna
I know you wanna
Do you wanna
I know you wanna
Tell me are you gonna
back to top
Gold In The Sunset
Song & Lyrics submitted by Chris Kesler
Song of the Week: 12/3/01
©1999 shockorama music pub. / music & lyrics by Bob Schneider
I went over to your house a little monkey in the gloom
She were making bacon the punchline came too soon
Made a little beverage thought I had it made
Mixed me up a big ole glass of seeya laterade
I know where tomorrow be too damn far away
Today ain't my cup of tea I know that everybody's gay
Knuckled out and lost all the bats they have flown
Monster's in the closet's all I've ever known
All the gold in the sunset all the diamonds on the sea
All the gold in the sunset's all I'll ever really need
All the gold in the sunset all the diamonds on the sea
All I need to be free come on and get down y'all
Chuckleberry superstition brought on by the dead
Got inside my constitution ate up all my head
Take me down to nowhere that's where I belong
Keep it going beautiful don't try and get me wrong
Sideshow snakebites got me in the mood
Switched over to decaf hate to be so rude
Operating allnight need some quick relief
Released in the ocean with your sharklike teeth
Made of macho medicine got a little close
Closer to the real deal need a bigger dose
Sperm kitchen headache dreaming I'm on fire
Swear to god I'm going over ready to retire
She'll use all the closet brass in her little pipe
Smoking in those wingtips kissing it goodnight
Damage done soliloquy highwater gash
Firehose nosewater need a little cash
Wigglying my dizzystick stop inside the showboat
Turn it over pay per view stripping off the creamcoat
Pillowcheck chambermaid Angie's got her noose
Tied under her hanky leg turning up the juice
Swimmin in her boxcar her scents in my beard
There's gonna be a fireworks display everyone is weird
Sperm kitchen headache everywhere I turn
Shallowwire snakeskin maybe I'll never learn
She got the gun she got the gun again
Sippin on a pipe razor packed and smokin Indochina
She got the gun that refunked the fire
That refunked my redirectory
Jabberwocky pignut caramella
White wall disaster ocean surf chumps
back to top
back to top
Gong! It's Taco Time!!
Song & Lyrics submitted by Brian724
Song of the Week: 4/16/02
Gong! It’s taco time
Gong! It’s taco time
Gong! It’s taco time
Gong! It’s taco time
I need a meat filled corn tortilla deep fried with cheese
Some extra spicy thick and chunky salsa please
Some lettuce and tomato and some fresh sour cream
And a side of tasty Mexican refried beans
Gong! It’s taco time
Gong! It’s taco time
Gong! It’s taco time
Gong! It’s taco time
Please don’t take a shit dude in that pot of beans
Cause I love my bean burritos if you know what I mean
I don’t want no fecal matter in my pintos and cheese
So won’t you do me a favor and take it easy por favor
Gong! It’s taco time
Gong! It’s taco time
Gong! It’s taco time
Gong! It’s taco time
I love my taco bell I eat it every day
Because a few copper pennies there go a mighty long way
And the hot sauce is free it’s like a meal in itself
Just keep your poop in your pants and keep the food on the shelf
Gong! It’s taco time
Gong! It’s taco time
Gong! It’s taco time
Gong! It’s taco time
back to top
Good Luck
Song & Lyrics submitted by Brian (PnkLydLunatic)
Song of the Week: 12/17/01
©1999 shockorama music pub. / music & lyrics by Bob Schneider Lyrics by Bob Schneider
I Could Just Die
I don't play Bingo cause I never win
I'll never go riding wild horses again
and I don't gamble the way that I used to do
I used up all my good luck the day I ran into you
I don't go drinking on the wrong side of town
with fast and easy women that I have found
I try to be careful and watch the things I do
I used up all my good luck the day I ran into you
I used up all my good luck the day I ran into you
Oooooooh oohhh oooooh oooooooooh
oooooh oooooooh
I used to take my chances whenever I could
cause if the Lord wouldn't save me, I knew lady luck would
But that was a long time before I had something to lose
I used up all my good luck the day I ran into you
Lightening don't strike twice, that's what they say
but lightening strikes me most every day
cause when you say 'I love you,' I know that it's true
I used up all my good luck the day I ran into you
I used up all my good luck the day I ran into you
Oooooooh oohhh oooooh oooooooooh
oooooh oooooooh
back to top
Honeybomb
Song & Lyrics submitted by Kelly Anne
Song of the Week: 4/1/02
Postal fever, Dow Jones
N'Sync, Rolling Stones
Nasdaq, Taliban
Income dies, Vidal Salon
Crack babies, School Prayer
Columbine, Electric Chair
World hunger, dot.com
It's time to drop the honeybomb
It's time to make the world a better place
Let your love lay your fears to waste
Cuz everything you think you know is wrong
It's time to get together and drop the honeybomb
It's time to let the light shine from within
Don't fight the feeling, just give in
No matter who you are and where you're from
It's time to get together..drop the honeybomb
Ethnic cleansing, CIA
Ghetto Nation, Getaway
Global warming, national debt
Unemployment, biothreat
Hunger strikes, income tax
Hate crimes, Officemax
MTV & teenage mom
It's time to drop the honeybomb
It's time to make the world a better place
Let your love lay your fears to waste
Cuz everything you think you know is wrong
It's time to get together and drop the honeybomb
It's time to let the light shine from within
Don't fight the feeling, just give in
No matter who you are and where you're from
It's time to get together..drop the honeybomb
Got to get mine, then get yours
Got to get his, then get hers
It's all about the cash & clothes
Got to get me some of those
Nike..Diesel..Gucci..Saks
Dolce & Gabana slacks
Ambercrombe..Prada..Gap
Just can't get enough of that
It's time to make the world a better place
(Lay your love) lay your fears to waste
Cuz everything you think you know is wrong
It's time to get together and drop the honeybomb
It's time to let the light shine from within
Don't fight the feeling, just give in
No matter who you are and where you're from
It's time to get together..drop the honeybomb
Greed & sloth & ignorance
That's circumstantial evidence
The world we seem to hold so dear
Only seems to nurture fear
Distrust drives the world apart
Brings us down and breaks our heart
There's the storm before the calm
It's time to drop the honeybomb
It's time to make the world a better place
Let your love) lay your fears to waste
Cuz everything you think you know is wrong
It's time to get together and drop the honeybomb
It's time to let the light shine from within
Don't fight the feeling, just give in
No matter who you are and where you're from
It's time to get together..drop the honeybomb
It's time to make the world a better place
Let your love lay your fears to waste
Cuz everything you think you know is wrong
It's time to get together and drop the honeybomb
It's time to let the light shine from within
Don't fight the feeling, just give in
No matter who you are and where you're from
It's time to get together..drop the honeybomb
The honeybomb.....
The honeybomb.....
back to top
Song & Lyrics transcribed by Melissa (aka Shaigirl79)
Song of the Week: 11/15/02
I'm not waving, I'm drowning.
And I'm not kidding around.
I'm so happy to be here, but that's just a lie.
And I'm not flooding, I'm sinking.
I'm not pretty in pink and
I'm so happy to be here, I could just die.
And I know that the good times they come and go.
And I know that it just ain't right to be feeling so low.
And they say that this feeling that I'm feeling, that it too shall pass.
But it's days like today when it feels like a pain in the...
ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies.
I'm all out of alibies
And I'm not happy, I'm hopeless.
And I'm not hanging, I'm ropeless.
And I'm so happy to be here.
Well that's just a lie.
And I'm not joyful, I'm jaded.
And I'm not blue, I'm just faded.
And I'm so happy to be here that I could just die.
And I sure wish somehow tomorrow didn't look like today.
But I know when you walked out my door, you walked out to stay.
And I know I should pick myself up and move on but I'm stuck.
Cause it's days like today that you know I just don't give a...
far and away the most beautiful day
was the day that you said you'd be mine.
I'm not waiting, I've waited.
I'm no hero, I'm hated.
And I'm so happy to be here, but that's just a lie.
And I'm not hard up, I'm hurting.
And I'm not smart, but I'm certain.
And I'm so happy to be here, that I could just die.
back to top
Long Way To Get
Lyrics transcribed by Brian Rose
Song Of The Week: 10/24/02
©music & lyrics by Bobby Schneider
I've got this mountain to climb
before I get over this hill
I got the world to unwind
before I ever sit still
I've got a hard row to hoe
before my seed is sewn
I've got a long way to get
before I get back home
Said I've got so much to put down
before that's all she wrote
I got so much to give
before my heart ain't so broke
I got to find myself
for I can ever be alone
I've got a long way to get
before I get back home
There's an ocean of reason
that I can't explain
There's the weight of the world
like a ball and a chain
There's a black hole inside
that I've filled up with stones
I've got a long way to get
before I get back home
I've got a long way to get
before I get back home
There's this man I never met before
and he looks a lot like me
There's a little place called heaven
that I'll probably never see
There's a thing called peace of mind
that I have never known
I've got a long way to get
before I get back home
I've got a long way to get
before I get back home.
I've got a long way to get
before I get back home.
back to top
Lucinda
Songs & Lyrics submitted by: Kelly Anne
Song Of The Week: 11/2/02
Music and lyrics by Bob Schneider
Everything that we had ever been
Was erased in just a single shot
Just a little word, a simple souveneir
That's gathered us around the honeytree and say goodbye
Worrywarts and all the limp liver little babies
And intoxicated intellectuals
Why won't these guards leave anyone alone
All hopes multiplied by ten
Set the table, make the bed
And water all the snakes inside your head
But don't you let them see you crying
It's not good for anyone
Believe me cuz I know
Lucinda, with your blueberry eyes
Your feelgood disguises
Veneer of immaculate attitude
While everything we've lost is good for nothing now
So say goodbye to our tomorrows
Lucinda, believe me, I'm wrong again
Believe me, I'm wrong again
Believe me, I'm wrong again
I'm lying
back to top
Maude
Songs & Lyrics submitted by: Kelly Anne
Song Of The Week: 4/22/02
©music & lyrics by Bobby Schneider
Inside her head a circus troop
Sings that the sky's a bowl of bright blue soup (Ah huh)
Juicy Fruit and crystal meth
Kisses dipped in whiskey breath (Ah huh...ah huh)
Sunday morning sauce is stickin (?)
Upside of a tired trippin'
How'd you hold your breath so long
Gone for good and good is gone
Maude, where are you?
I wanna be there, too, with you
Maude, where are you..outside of everything
Caught in the undertow
Follow you up to Heaven
Baby, take me with you when you go
Turpentine and drunken sailors
Drown your hearts and sell your babies (Uh huh..Uh huh)
Count and Queen of Jersey
Drunken hearts and men of mercy (Uh huh...Uh huh)
Sunday morning super stupid
Upside of a tired trippin
Maude, where are you?
I wanna be there, too, with you
Maude, where are you..outside of everything
Caught in the undertow
Follow you up to Heaven
Baby, take me with you when you go
She's made her mind up
Clear and clean
Thought of Maybelline (Uh huh)
Got that bubble bomb
Feed you like a CD-ROM (Uh huh...uh huh)
Sunday morning super music
Upside of the bright and breezy
How'd you hold on so long?
The good is gold and the gold is gone
Maude, where are you, I wanna be there, too, with you
Maude, where are you, I wanna be there outside of everything
Caught up in the undertow, outside of tomorrow
Maude, take me with you when you go
Outside of everything, part of the undertow, follow you up to Heaven
Maude, Take me with you when you go
back to top
My Life's Turning Into A Monster
circa. Scabs Nov 1999
Song & Lyrics submitted by Niecy
Song of the Week: 11/9/01
My Life's Turning into a Monster
My life is turning into a monster
Mary doesn't seem to care
She's got things to do people to see
She's electrifying dye resistant phosphorescent hair
My life is turning into a monster
And Mary doesn't understand
She reads the Bible like she's dying
When it's time for drinks she's buying
When she's ready to go you better watch your hand
My life's turning into a monster
And mary's got me awfully scared
She's got a skinny little job
But her big ol daddy runs the mob
She's got a sweet versace smile
She looks like Linda Blair
My life's turning into a monster
And Mary's slowly slipping away
He's got big greasy fangs
he's got angular bangs
He's got electrifying death defying hunger rays
My life's turning into a monster
And mary's been elected to rule
She's got a superspace conductor
Flavored micro self destructor
She's got a whole lot of bullets
She's an aerobics instructor
back to top
Pencil Me In
Song & Lyrics submitted by Kelly Anne
Song of the Week: 6/20/02
Pencil me in
give me some lips
To kiss you with
Give me two arms
To hold you down
Give me a mind
To spin you around
Pencil me in
Money and gold
'Til I am old
Still have a friend
Who'll love me and
Give up my heart
Give me a smile
To spread on your lips
For a while
If you want to throw
caution to the wind
Baby it'll be the last time
the sky falls in
Then, pencil me in
Give me a chance
To make you see
How happy we'd be
Up in the trees
And down on our knees
Like bad little bees
Just pencil me in
And tell me some lies
I wanna hear
Like "Baby, you know, I'll always be here"
Just give me some kisses
So that I can
Give 'em all back again
If you want to throw
caution to the wind
Baby it'll be the last time
the sky falls in
Let me believe
That dreams come true
Now that the world
Is not "Me and You"
Make me believe
In love again...
Pencil me in...
back to top
Spooky Houses
Songs & Lyrics submitted by: Candywoman
Song Of The Week: 03/24/02
Lyrics by Bob Schneider
There's a girl, she's seventeen
So I've heard and so it seems
Her eyes are made of firewood
Wouldn't do me any good
They say her heart is lined with lead
She sleeps inside a coffin bed
Sweeps the streets at noon each day
With sweet perfume and chardonnay
Her love is lying with a guy of bones (??)
And there is death with every tone
At 12 each night her lonesome wail
Turns yeour blood to ginger ale
When the sun falls fast asleep
Her song will make the Heavens weep
A thousand stars fall down around
Her warm translucent wedding gown
And noone knows her real name
They hide their hearts and lay the blame
Misery's delicious spine
Spin the wheel one more time
Her lover sleeps under the ground
Behind her house, inside her mound
But everyone, they all agree
She's the one who did the deed
There's a girl, she's seventeen
So I've heard and so it seems
Her eyes are made of firewood
Wouldn't do me any good
back to top
Sweet Sound
Songs & Lyrics submitted by: Niecy
Song Of The Week: 10/31/01
go ahead and build a castle way up high
make it so high it just might touch the sky
make it all golden, shiny, and strong
make it so it lasts forever
you hope that long
said it's gonna make a sweet sound
when it comes crashing down
yeah, it's gonna make a sweet song all around
said it's gonna make a sweet sound
when it comes crashing down
you know you're never
gonna be the same
and i know it's easier
just to lay the blame
at the alter of the temple of all excuses you've made
until your smile's as thin as a razorblade
(go ahead now) tend to your garden growing there in the sun
and work hard your whole life and call it fun
cause all the plans you're makin
they're takin you away
from the only time that you've been given here today
but i know that
all the plans will make a sweet sound all around
yeah they're gonna make a sweet sound
when they come crashing down
said they gonna make a sweet sound all around
yeah i know they're gonna make a sweet when they come crashing down
so if ya wanna know the reason
why i don't mind
guess you're gonna have to come back some other time
cause all your explanations they are all made of sand
when i try to reach for the truth
it just slips through my hands
make a sweet sound all around
said they gonna make a sweet sound
when it comes crashing down
said it's gonna make a sweet sound all around
said it's gonna make a sweet sound
when it comes crashing down
so construct your defenses honey
the best way you can
til you got cold steel skin just like superman
til the walls are so high
love just can't get to you
til the walls are so wide
that you can't see through
them walls will make a sweet sound
all around
said they gonna make a sweet sound
when it comes crashing down
said it's gonna make a sweet sound all around
said it's gonna make a sweet sound
when it comes crashing down
back to top
Thousand Pound Crown
Songs & Lyrics submitted by: Adrian Rice
Song Of The Week: 11/10/01
She’s nice and naughty and she gets around You turn me on
And the maggots and the moths never slow her down
And her toothless grin never comes unwound
And she’s swimming through the ashes
In her thousand pound crown
Oh there was Danny back in 82
He beat her black and he beat her blue
He’d do the things she knew he’d do
But he got himself a little poison stew
She’s hardly crazy and she gets around
And the ghosts from the grave never bring her down
And her big yellow heart never makes a sound
And she’s swimming through the night
In her thousand pound crown
There was Bart Govino that drunken prick
He loved young boys and he made her sick
He drank just like a lunatic
And a little bullet seemed to do the trick
There’s a thousand pink diamonds laying all around
And the voices in her head are sweet chocolatey brown
And she’s a broken little bird who can’t get off the ground
As she swims through the streets
In her thousand pound crown
back to top
You Turn Me On
Songs & Lyrics submitted by: Kelly Anne
Song Of The Week: 07/24/02
You knock me out
You take away
All my fears and doubts
Is this a dream you make me scream
You turn me on
You turn me on
You drive me crazy
When you whisper to me
You know I'd love to baby
Eat you up until you're gone
You turn me on
I like the way that I feel when you’re around
I love the way my feet don’t touch the ground
There’s something about it
I can’t explain but there is no doubt
It’s something strong
You turn me on
You turn me on
You're dynamite
You light both ends of my candle
Each and every night
And when you wave your magic wand
You turn me on
You turn me on
Like a morning breeze
When you’re around me
You put my mind at ease
Your conversation’s like a song
You turn me on
I like the way that I feel when you’re around
I love the way my feet don’t touch the ground
There’s something about it
I can’t explain but there is no doubt
Its something strong
You turn me on
You turn me on
You’re so enlightening
When you’re around me
Life doesn’t seem as frightening
You are the sun you are the dawn
You turn me on
You turn me on
You bake my cake
I dream about you
When I’m wide awake
What I’m trying to say is I like the way
You turn me on
back to top